At 18, I had my first surgery and was told I had Stage IV endometriosis. After surgery, was prescribed Danazol which did little for the endo and added about 25 lbs to me during the 6 months I took it. After that, my doctor strongly recommended pregnancy (not an option then) or to take birth control pills. I took the bc pills for 6-7 months but kept adding weight even after changing prescriptions. Finally, just decided to quit taking them.

I decided I would live with not knowing if and when my period would start and deal with the pain then. Three years later while working out of town, I spiked a fever and had such pain, I literally was passing out from it. I called my doctor who told me to go straight to the hospital. Within 4 hours, I was in surgery again. This time, along with some chocolate cysts, they found my ovaries were joined together and my tubes were damaged. They disconnected my ovaries and repaired my tubes. Again, I was told to get pregnant asap. Still not an option as I was still unmarried and not looking to be a mom just yet.

I endured the pain and misery of endo for 4 more years before I gave in to having surgery again. This time it would a laprascopy. More of the same - cysts everywhere but none were as big as the very first one - the size of a softball. I was given pain pills to take during my period which helped some but I was still fairly incapacitated the first 2 days of each cycle. By this time, I was in a serious relationship and engaged. We were dealing with the possibility of DH being the father of a 14 mo old child by a previous girlfriend. A child he didn't know existed until she was 14 mos. old and he found out on my birthday of all days. He had to be tested to see if he was the father because the mother wasn't sure. 3 possible fathers of her 4th child. None of the children related other than having the same mother. My husband was adamant this wasn't his child because he had been previously tested and found to have a low sperm count. He swore this wasn't his child. Well, the tests said differently. The firs t time I met this child, I broke down. I took one look at her and could not handle dealing with my own infertility issues. I left both them sitting in the middle of the living room floor with tears in my eyes. From there, we went on to have some bitter battles over the custody battle and my feeling so "unwomanly" about not being able to conceive and his being able to impregnate another woman so easily even with a low sperm count. He was granted custody of his daughter a year later.

We became a family and tried to conceive one of our own. After a year of no pregnancy (like it was going to be soooo easy), we were referred to infertility specialists to discuss our options. I was totally expecting to hear we would start with the simple stuff like clomid. Instead, the doctor was brutal. You have maybe a 25% chance with I.V.F. and that may be optimistic. Again, I felt crushed. My husband didn't know what to say to me so he said nothing. That silence hurt more than what the doc had said. I didn't have to wait long until we had something else to deal with concerning children. His brother had conceived a child with his girlfriend. This girlfriend left the baby in a hotel with perfect strangers. How the police were able to find relatives, we don't quite understand. They found the child's grandmother (DH's mother). Asked her to take the child in. After a week, he was returned to the mother and she did the same thing again! Grandma was granted custody of the baby because dad was in j ail. The last time that child saw his mother was when he was 6 weeks old - he's now 7. When taking care of the baby became too much for Grandma (who is ill a lot), we were asked to step in and take the child. We did. His dad is able bodied and works sometime but that's another story altogether.

I resigned myself that this was meant to be my family and settled into family life. I never did quite give up on the notion of having one of my own one day. I just wasn't going to try I.V.F. If God meant for me to have a child, it would be by His hand in His time. We were quite a family and we melted into our own routine. Then, I became sick. Or I thought I was sick. I was vomiting a lot and the smell of food made it worse. Then, the old familiar pains got worse. It never crossed my mind I could be pregnant. After the bleeding started and the pains increased, I took a HPT. To my shock it was positive! I knew right then I was having a miscarriage and went to the E.R. Sure enough, I was pregnant but nothing could be done at that point to save the pregnancy. I was crying for the loss but I felt such a sense of hope too. That's when I found your website and believe me, some days those gals were lifesavers. Lifting my spirits and telling me to hold on to my hope. It was July 2000.

I became pregnant the very next month and lost that one also. Then, it dawned on my doctor to do some more tests. Come to find out, my progesterone levels were too low to sustain a pregnancy. I went on to become pregnant and miscarry 3 more times.. All within a year following the first pregnancy. I gave up after that - the emotional roller coaster was taking a heavy toll. I couldn't take it anymore. I threw away all of my books, quit visiting the DB's, just stopped all together. I dived into my work and that's where I stayed.

In June of 2003, I found out I was pregnant again. It had been a couple of years since I saw that double line on a HPT, but something told me this one was different. Even being a Saturday morning, I called my doctor and asked to be put on Prometrium right away. I was barely 12 dpo but insisted. My pregnancy was uneventful and on March 9, 2004, I gave birth by c-section to my wonderful baby boy.

Carol

May 17, 2004
Hi Momma Kath
It's a ++++ .
I went to my OB?GYN and she did the exam and told me that I did feel a little pregnant.
So I had by HCG Quant done on Friday and those result were 402.
I'M PREGNANT, I'M PREGNANT.
You can use my story on your website to help other woman with their fertility.
Thanks so much!
Keshia